mercredi 16 novembre 2016
Children are more perspicacious than they seem
Far be it from me to do a pediatric psychoanalysis on mourning and stages of the child's journey. I don't have the expertise to claim to speak as such. However, I can say that the statements of reality by children facing a difficult situation still go beyond me. Since they have not yet seen the world in their true light, as my mother would say, they emit their thoughts without filters or fuss because they let the emotions and feelings they feel through their childish babbling speak. I am a caregiver to one of my cousins living in the province of Quebec, I have at least a good quarantine with which I maintain friendly relationships without counting those who are more or less in contact with me when the occasion presents. My cousin whom I t am talking about received a diagnosis of stage 4 aggressive lung cancer, the worst of all, with bone metastases, in the spring of May 2106. And unlike popular clairvoyance, she is non-smoker and does not drink alcohol and the few times she drips it is during Christmas Eve, barely a few sips stolen from her husband's glass. She is the mother of two wonderful girls aged 6 years and 2 years, the last one being my goddaughter. Without bragging, my cousin shows incredible courage and her confidence in God is stronger than ever.
On their side, the small ones without analyzing absorb all the vibrations of the disease of their mother in their daily life: indeed, when I catch them playing with the doll, the first talks about the disease and the death as well as Of the possibility of being abandoned. As soon as she is scolded, she makes emotional blackmail ... at least I believed it until I began to analyze the contents of her history crises: "Nobody loves me", "I am Alone "," leave my house and never come back "," If you die, you will die for all life ", etc ... She has changed attitude since this summer, she replies to all that" She is told and before she even has time to react, she pours a torrent of tears and heartrending cries. The second, because of his young age, does not grasp all the stakes of such a situation but feels the negative vibrations that emanate from it; His favorite game is to imitate in the slightest deeds and gestures his big sister. So the crises are in duplicate. Far from being thwarted by this emotional lability, I finally understood that they are considering the possibility of losing their mother or that their life changes drastically. Watching them through the window more often or beg for a thousandth cuddle sometimes cracks my heart but thank God, the family understood. Without having read textbooks on the subject, we would not have had time to do it, each one tries to frame the little ones and to morally support the father, my dear cousin by marriage. Result: When I go there, I cajole, I distribute kisses, I participate in their bedtime routine with their grandmother when Daddy left worked. Even if I do not change the situation that affects me more than I would have envisaged, I can at least create happy memories that will radiate in their childhood.
Nothing is more comforting than a family is loved ones around you when you go through difficult times. Thank you to all those who support us with their presence, their prayers and their thoughts.
With love to my angels M. and L.